Testimony of Salvation

All my life I was raised in church. My grandfather was an Independent Baptist Pastor, so I have always been around God's Word and God's people. At a young age I made a profession of faith, but I admit I never saw myself as a sinner. Always being raised in church, I was never exposed to deep sin as others have, so I could not see myself as a “sinner”. I would profess to be saved, but deep down in my heart I knew something was missing. I had such an emptiness inside, yet I was afraid to tell anyone because everyone assumed I was saved, after all, I acted like a saved person. During my high school years I was actively involved in the church. I went away to Bible College where I graduated with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Elementary Education. Throughout college I taught in a Christian School . Still, with the same void in my heart. I married the youth director of our church, and was actively involved with the youth group.

The Lord called us into missions and sent us to the Philippines to share The Good News of the Gospel to those who have never heard. Still, I had no peace in my heart, and I often struggled with the fact that God had sent us to the mission field to share Him with others, yet I didn't have my own salvation settled. How could I share something that I wasn't sure of??? There was a constant battle raging within. I never shared my innermost feelings, not even with my husband, because of fear.

The Lord allowed us to take a short furlough, and during that time our home church was having a revival meeting. On January 15, 2002 , Evangelist Jimmie Clark was preaching a message on “Things that will keep you from going to heaven”. His first point was “self righteousness”. God immediately smote my heart with conviction. God opened my blinded eyes and allowed me to see that I was trusting in what I was doing – teaching Sunday School, singing in the choir, graduating from Bible College, being a missionary – and not what He had already done for me on Calvary. God was not impressed with my “self righteousness” at all, and for the first time in my life I saw myself as God saw me, a dirty rotten sinner! I was so ashamed. I bowed on my knees and asked the Lord to forgive me and come into my heart and save me. Immediately, peace flooded my soul. I confessed and apologized to my church for being a hypocrite. For so many years, I had a head knowledge of the Lord, but now I have a heart knowledge of Him. I no longer have “religion”, but a personal relationship with my Lord and Savior. He has now made my life worth living! I'm so glad God still saves old sinners!!!